Bitter?

bit·ter

 ˈ

adjective

1. 1.

   having a sharp, pungent taste or smell; not sweet.

   "the raw berries have an intensely bitter flavor"

   synonyms:

   sharp, acid, acidic, acrid, tart, sour, biting, unsweetened, vinegary;
2. 2.

   (of people or their feelings or behavior) angry, hurt, or resentful because of one's bad experiences or a sense of unjust treatment.

   "I don't feel jealous or bitter"

   synonyms:

   resentful, embittered, aggrieved, begrudging, rancorous, spiteful,jaundiced,ill-disposed, sullen, sour, churlish, morose, petulant,peevish, with a chip on one's shoulder More Dear Sir, I’m a twenty-something year old young professional who has certainly had her trials and tribulations in the dating department, but me? Bitter? I'm no sour apple! Yes I’ve had my fair share of failed relationships that might have left my heart slightly bruised but that doesn’t mean I blame the entire male race for the mistakes of a select few. But please excuse my lack of eagerness to gobble up compliments and passes especially when they’re generic. You see my mind, body, spirit & heart are the most valuable things in my possession and I refuse to hand those things over on a silver platter to just anyone. If I said yes to every gentleman caller then what would that make me? What would I have left? Nothing... Am I afraid? Heck yes! Letting your guard down for a member of the opposite sex is equivalent to standing at the edge of the tallest mountain and expecting him/her to catch you when you fall. That’s a big gamble and I’ve been dropped on my face before, so excuse my apprehension but I'm in no hurry to stand on a ledge for anyone. That’s not being bitter that’s being careful. Don’t come to me dressed in your knight and shinning armor with claims of sweeping me off my feet be genuine, be real, be you. I do understand that humans need love & affection and I do get hungry for those things but I rather eat filet mignon Vs. MCDEES cheeseburgers…. So I’ll wait. Don’t take it personal. XOXO -Rockie

Como Que? Casual Dating!

Monogamy, monogamy wherefore art thou? Remember when you were a kid and you liked a girl/boy in school? You'd send them a note that said: Be mine? Yes, no, maybe, circle one. A relationship is the YES and casual dating is the Maybe. Today, there are countless forms of relationships. Casual dating has become the norm in today’s society simply because we all think we have too many options to just go for one. Or maybe our lives are to demanding to devote time to a committed relationship. 

A casual sexual relationship, or casual dating, is a physical and emotional relationship between two people who may have a sexual relationship or a near-sexual relationship without necessarily demanding or expecting the extra commitments of a more formal romantic relationship.

A casual relationship may be part-time, or for a limited time. It may or may not entail partner-exclusivity. In each case, the relationship's dominance in the lives of those involved is being voluntarily limited, and there is usually a sense that the relationship is intended to endure only so long as both parties wish it to.

I’m to busy: The busy card, which is school, work, and life! Some have children, multiple jobs and or are fulltime students and have little time to devote to a committed relationship, which is a job all in its own. A relationship is like a plant it needs watering in order to grow, neglect will cause that plant to die. This is why many choose to take the easy route and decide to casually date. 

A sticky situation: And I don’t mean the good kind! AaaahhhRight. The nice part of a casual a relationship is that in most cases its 20 steps up form a booty call. Nice dates can be involved, gifts, good morning text etc. You know, that whole shabang! Buuut (there’s always a but) please don’t be confused. Your cuddle buddy might have another cuddle buddy or several. Some get in too deep into this casual thing. If exclusivity was never discussed or even brought up then 8 times out of 10 you’re not the only one bedding your guy/gal. If you decided not to date anyone else that’s your personal decision and don’t expect the other party involved to return the favor. Unless you’re a robot you may develop some genuine feelings while in this type of relationship. Should this happen you can do two things. A.) Express your feelings or B.) Run for the hills for fear of rejection. Running for the hills sounds about right! No, seriously if you feel comfortable enough to discuss your feelings with that person then I’d say do just that. If you don’t, then there’s your answer right there!

Casual relationships only work if both parties are on the same page.

You have to have the same needs and wants and have similar life’s styles.

A casual relationship can stay that way or in some cases turn serious and eventually lead to a real commitment, yay. Just don't bank on that. If you find your self questioning your feelings or their feelings and feel as though you need clarity and certainty and the other party doesn’t wish to provide this then a casual relationship is not for you. Get out before your feelings get hurt.   

Happy dating!

xoxo Rockie

One Date, Two Date, Three Date, Four

Are there any rules for dating that are set in stone? Usually when we're on the hunt for that next "big catch" we go on multiple dates with multiple people. But when we find someone we feel we want to stand still with for a few minutes do we stop dating other people?

Is everyone else cut off?

1.) The unwritten rule: 

When you become close and intimate with someone you expect to be the only person they're being intimate with. That's ideal but not always the case.

2.) No exclusivity:

If He/She doesn't discuss being exclusive then you are not. You are free to do what ever you want technically and with out question.

To be continued... 

Broken Heart Syndrome

Love is a phenomenon sometimes difficult to explain in words. Broken hearts, a phenomenon difficult to live with. What does it mean to be broken hearted? Is our heart actually broken? If it is can it get fixed? What causes ones heart to break? When you're so in love with someone and you've given them all of you and suddenly with out any real reason they're gone! Or in some instances certain circumstances don't permitt the two of you to be together. Some go through this stage of heartbreak/ heartache. This feeling is so strong that it can even cause a physical reaction to your body. Loss of sleep, loss of appetite, to big of an appetite, body pains, no will power to go on and the list can go on and on. When this person who you thought was your other half is gone for what ever reason some say you may feel  zombie-like, empty. You'll question everything.

Broken heart syndrome:

 Is a temporary heart condition brought on by stressful situations, such as the death of a loved one. People with broken heart syndrome may have sudden chest pain or think they're having a heart attack. These broken heart syndrome symptoms may be brought on by the heart's reaction to a surge of stress hormones. In broken heart syndrome, a part of your heart temporarily enlarges and doesn't pump well, while the remainder of the heart functions normally or with even more forceful contractions.

If you are suffering from this condition I have some good news for you! When you enter a dark tunnel guess what? There is always a way OUT. You may walk alone in the dark for some time but its not forever. Some who  go through a traumatic experience in a relationship build walls to keep love out. Building a wall is the easiest thing you could do. You just lay down cement and stack up the blocks. The hard part is breaking it down. Its 100 percent doable! But when the RIGHT person comes along he/she will take the hammer and tear it down and you'll let them. 

I once heard that, "relationships are like thunderstorms, as easy as them come they go". I disagree! In the right relationship you’re in the thunderstorm together holding one umbrella until it’s over and the sun is shining. If your significant other left you or treated you terribly when the storm was over then they didn't deserve to have you in the 1st place.

Healing:

Healing takes time, it involves probably a lot of crying and surrounding yourself with people who love and care for you. Go on vacation if possible and do all of the things you love doing. You have the ability to create your own happiness. Wake up in the morning and say today I'm going to be happy and you will be. The mind is one of the most powerful organs we poses, feed it positivity and poof your life will change for the better!

Living with a broken heart is impossible so be willing to let someone come in and help you patch it back up. No, your heart might not look exactly the same with all those stitches but our scars make us who we are, beautiful.

Online Dating

Over the years there has been a tremendous growth in online dating websites. Since we are living in a technological age creators of these sites know that providing this type of service is a necessity. With work, school and busy lifestyle overall, many don’t have time to actually go out and meet people they could potentially date. These sights make it easier for most to meet other singles that fit the certain criteria they are seeking. Forty million people in the United States alone have tried online dating. Before deciding which dating site you want to sign up for you should first ask yourself what it is you're looking for. Some sites have an emphasis on serious relationships and some are for people looking to date causally. Once you’ve decided what kind of dating you want to do, that’s when you start researching the perfect site for you. Typically, you'll become a member and create a profile. Being 100 percent truthful on your profile is important. This way you can get matched with someone more accurately. Some sites match you with someone by using your age, location, what your personal preferences are or by using a personality test. Some sites will also use their representatives to actually match you. Most dating sites offer a free trial and after the free trail there will be monthly payments. Some charge anywhere from 16 to 60 dollars. Free access to select services is also provided on some of these dating sites. Sites that are less popular are usually free. If you do your research online you can even find coupons for discounts. 

Recently there has been an up rise to online dating sites geared towards people with sexually transmitted infections. These sites are for people with incurable STI’s who can meet others with the same infections they have. There are 20 million new cases of people with STI’s each year in the United States. Using these specific online dating sites has provided a safe, responsible and comfortable window in to dating. Here are two lists of some popular online dating websites. These are only a few of the countless sites available.

1. Match
2. Eharmony
3. Chemistry
4. OK Cupid
5. Our Time
6. Christians Mingle
7. True

Some dating Sites for People with STI's:

1. Responsible Dating
2. Positive Singles
3. STD Friends
4. Date Positive
5. HMates

 
Dating online is an easy way of eliminating people you know you might not be interested in. This ability of pin pointing potential matches is what really lures people to online dating. Although online dating is easy, convenient, fun and in many times effective in landing great dates or even marriage there are dangerous aspects of it as well. Only a few online dating sites provide background checking for members who sign up. So really knowing who's behind that computer screen or who's going to show up when you two first meet can really be a gamble. There have been countless cases of married men & women, stalkers, con artist and criminals who join these dating websites. Many don't always have pure and good intentions and frankly lying about whom you are and what kind of person you are is fairly easy. Many members on these dating sites use old pictures or lie about their weight but that's the least of your worries. Con artist both men and women lurk on these sites looking to scam lonely singles out of thousands of dollars. 

Bill Warner, a Florida private investigator who offers on his website to "sort out the winners from the losers" for a flat fee of US$169,says running background checks on potential Internet dates now constitutes more than 50 per cent of his business.

If you're using an online dating site and have met someone you might be interested in your best bet is to shed out a little extra cash to perform a background check on. You could even do a background check yourself online for around 20 bucks. It sounds extensive but there are too many horror stories out there and I'm sure you don't want to be one of them.

In recent news we've been hearing a lot about people being Cat Fished. What is being Cat Fished? Well I'll enlighten you if you don't already know. When you develop a relationship with a person online and they turn out not to be who they say they are, that's being catfished. These people pretend to be someone they're not and live a live on the Internet fooling multiple people. Going behind a computer screen making up a factitious person is wrong but so many are doing it. Men pretend to be women and vice versa. They use fake pictures they find online and pretend that it's them. They go on dating websites, facebook and twitter and begin romantic relationships with people based on lies and deception. There's even a new reality TV show on MTV about people going through this experience called Catfish.  I can only hope that this in your face reality TV series is going to prompt online daters to be careful when development relationships with online strangers. There are tons of tips and trick to online dating the right way you just have to seek them out diligently! Don't ever believe what anyone says to you online always do your homework!

In this video you can get a first hand look at what being catfished is all about. It may seem shocking but this happens to people everyday. Online dating is a great tool to use for meeting people but you must be wise about it! Good luck! 

Happy Online dating.

xoxo Rockie

Good Guys Finish First!

There's a popular saying that goes like this, good guys finish last. I don't agree with this statement at all! Yes, some women go for the bad boy, mysterious type but at the end of the day they usually marry the good guy! I asked some of my close female friends what they thought were important qualities when seeking a man and came up with a list. 

1. Loving
2. Honest
3. Single
4. Hard working
5. Employed
6. Dedicated
7. Understanding
8. Affectionate
9. Kind
10. Open Minded
11. Funny
12. Out going
13. Cares about his family

Now, if you asked me I'd say that these are all qualities a good guy possesses. Right? So what's happening? I think all of these good guys that are out here might not have enough courage to bump the bad boys out of the way and swoop their lady off of her feet. From my understanding and experience those bad boy types are aggressive and persistent with their approach. Ladies don't walk pass the nice guy and right into the arms of the jerk. Dear, good guys Don't fret patience, persistence will get you the girl in the end.

I Love the good guys

xoxo Rockie

This Single Girls Life.

After being in a few long term relationships, I'm single for the first time in about ten years! Tired of always being someones girlfriend I decided I wanted to be a lone ranger. Unbelievable right? NO! Many find it hard to believe that I actually want to be single and in no rush to meet prince charming. I'm not opposed to it, just not actively looking. I'm only sharing this story because I want people to know that being single is OK and you shouldn't feel lonely or merisble because you don't have a significant other. If I had a penny for every time someone said I should be married or asked why am I single I'd be rich by now. I'm 25, which is typically in this day and age the time people start getting married, having children or in a committed relationship. (usually) One line I hear all the time is, you're too pretty, how are you single? Well, I didn't know that "pretty" people weren't allowed to be single? Is there something I'm missing? I've noticed that men who are single are rarely or never asked why? I'm assuming that it's illegal to be single when you're a young attractive woman. This is how society makes it out to be. But, I've never been the type to conform to society's expectations of how people should be. I go to the movies alone, I eat dinner alone and if I get an urge to cuddle, well that's what my body pillow is for. I surround myself with tons of wonderful friends and family members so I've yet to feel even an ounce of loneliness. My close friends tease me because when I get asked out I always tell the guy (if I agree to go) that this is not a date, it's a friend outing. Everyone always thinks this is hilarious but really, I say this because I don't want to lead anyone on. So I go on these friends outings under certain conditions.

Here are my friend outing conditions:

1.) There will be no kissing

2.) We are just friends

3.) We will remain Platonic

Now, I'm not trying to start some kind of singles revolution just saying I see so many women and men looking for love in all the wrong places. Sometimes it's OK to have time for yourself, learn to love yourself because at the end of the day if you don't love you then who else will? We have to learn to be one with our selves know our likes and dislikes and then the perfect person will be just around the corner. Please don't rush into a relationship for the fear of people alone. This is the time in my life where I'm doing everything I want to do and it's amazing. This is probably the only time in my young life that I will be able to do this. In a couple years I might be married with children but for now its just single me. For all my single folks out there, there are tons of fun things you can do with friends or even by yourself. Being single doesn't mean staying home alone and lonely. This is a time where you should be out and about meeting new people doing new things and stepping out of the box. Try not to stick to things you usually do and look for new and exciting adventures. Do things you can look back too and smile about. They don't shoot single people (well at least I don't think so). Wear your single cape proudly and when you're ready, really ready then put your self back on the market. I strongly feel that having me time is important, so have it!

I just wanna read books about juicing, watch movies and have drinks in the city with friends!

Your favorite single blogger,

xoxo Rockie