Broken Heart Syndrome

Love is a phenomenon sometimes difficult to explain in words. Broken hearts, a phenomenon difficult to live with. What does it mean to be broken hearted? Is our heart actually broken? If it is can it get fixed? What causes ones heart to break? When you're so in love with someone and you've given them all of you and suddenly with out any real reason they're gone! Or in some instances certain circumstances don't permitt the two of you to be together. Some go through this stage of heartbreak/ heartache. This feeling is so strong that it can even cause a physical reaction to your body. Loss of sleep, loss of appetite, to big of an appetite, body pains, no will power to go on and the list can go on and on. When this person who you thought was your other half is gone for what ever reason some say you may feel  zombie-like, empty. You'll question everything.

Broken heart syndrome:

 Is a temporary heart condition brought on by stressful situations, such as the death of a loved one. People with broken heart syndrome may have sudden chest pain or think they're having a heart attack. These broken heart syndrome symptoms may be brought on by the heart's reaction to a surge of stress hormones. In broken heart syndrome, a part of your heart temporarily enlarges and doesn't pump well, while the remainder of the heart functions normally or with even more forceful contractions.

If you are suffering from this condition I have some good news for you! When you enter a dark tunnel guess what? There is always a way OUT. You may walk alone in the dark for some time but its not forever. Some who  go through a traumatic experience in a relationship build walls to keep love out. Building a wall is the easiest thing you could do. You just lay down cement and stack up the blocks. The hard part is breaking it down. Its 100 percent doable! But when the RIGHT person comes along he/she will take the hammer and tear it down and you'll let them. 

I once heard that, "relationships are like thunderstorms, as easy as them come they go". I disagree! In the right relationship you’re in the thunderstorm together holding one umbrella until it’s over and the sun is shining. If your significant other left you or treated you terribly when the storm was over then they didn't deserve to have you in the 1st place.

Healing:

Healing takes time, it involves probably a lot of crying and surrounding yourself with people who love and care for you. Go on vacation if possible and do all of the things you love doing. You have the ability to create your own happiness. Wake up in the morning and say today I'm going to be happy and you will be. The mind is one of the most powerful organs we poses, feed it positivity and poof your life will change for the better!

Living with a broken heart is impossible so be willing to let someone come in and help you patch it back up. No, your heart might not look exactly the same with all those stitches but our scars make us who we are, beautiful.

I Think I'm In Love With My Best Friend!

 A best friend is a person you share everything with and in most cases spend a lot of time with. Some find it difficult to have a platonic relationship with a member of the opposite sex but It's 100 percent possible! But what do you do when you think you're falling in love with your best friend? Do you ignore your feelings? Should you be open and honest with them and share how you feel? Are you sure it's really love that you're feeling? I know, I know what do you do ? that awkward moment when you've fallen in love with your best friend!

Are you sure you're in love? Often when we are going through some kind of emotional or physical hardship our friends are the ones right there holding our hands through difficult times. If you're going through a trying time in your life and your friend is really helping you through, it could make you feel like you might have romantic feelings towards them. In times of need people tend to get very attached to the people closest to them (a best friend). These feelings that you might be experiencing towards your best friends might not be love. You can have love for them but probably aren't in love.

Recent break ups, being on the rebound, death in the family, depression,  and stress are some examples of vulnerable times where your emotions can get all mixed up.

It's Real! You know in your heart that you're truly in love with your best friend! Can't eat, can't sleep, you're head over heels! You've made a sane mind body and spirit decision that yes, These are my emotions and no, I'm not confused sigh. Now that you've come to terms it's time to decide what to do next.

Do You Tell them? You must understand that once you tell your best friend you have strong romantic feelings for them the entire dynamic of the relationship will change. Is sharing this news worth your current friendship as it is now? Are you OK with the possible rejection? Can you continue being this persons friend with out telling them how you really feel? If you can't go another day without admitting you're feelings for your friend then you should get it off your chest. If you've decided to take the plunge and be honest then you must do it the right way. If they are in a relationship you must think twice about sharing such news. Your approach has to be strategic as well. Don't give them the "we have to talk speech" and certainly don't use the love word.While you guys are hanging out, as you usually do sit them down and tell them you have feelings for them. 

What Next? Now your best friend knows that you have romantic feelings towards them. Ideally falling in love with your best friends is the most amazing thing ever right? It could be. If they feel the same way about you then the both of you can work on being a couple. If they don't share your feelings then two things will have to happen. 

1. It never happened! You both can try to pretend the conversation never happened and go on like every things normal and you can try to forget or avoid your feelings. This solution is very unlikely so lets go to number two.
2.  Space, You'll need some space. Seeing your best friend or listening to their guy/girl drama will be horrible for you and the friendship might feel weird for them as well. You two need to try to give each other tons of space until the air clears. You need time to try to get over your feelings and seeing them all the time won't help in the least bit.
3. Possible Solutions,  Go on a few dates and meet some new friends. It's a sad reality but things might not ever be the same between the two of you.

In conclusion, professing your love to your best friend can either go amazingly right or terribly wrong. It's up to you if you're willing to take that risk. Just remember going through life with what ifs isn't quite living. So hold your nose and take a dive! GOOD LUCK!

xoxo Rockie

Breaking Up the Right Way!

We can all agree that breaking up with your significant other is one of the hardest things to do. How do you tell someone you've spent so much time with and given so much love to you don't want them anymore? Lets start off with things you don't say and do when trying to break up.
       

1. Email
2. Social Media
3. Text message

After being with someone for an extened period of time, the respectful way to tell them it's over, is face to face! Letting your significant other know you two are breaking up through social media, text message, email, is heartless! Today everything is done online but a break up shouldn't be one of them especially if this is a person you once cared for.

Try to avoid the IT'S NOT YOU IT'S ME line! It's so cliche! What you want to do is think of the top five reasons why you want to end things. Meet in a neutral place that's not too public; one or both of you might shed a tear or two and you don't want onlookers invading such and intimate moment. Be kind and remember they will want an explanation so give it to them. You don't ever want to leave someone clueless as to why you're breaking up with them because then they're left with no sense of closure. I know how hard It can be to say the words once you're face to face but if it's what you really want you have to be strong. Once you've broken up with your significant other you should CEASE AND DESIST all communication with them. I'm not saying you can't ever be friends with them, but right after a break up you both need space from each other to avoid confusion. Once you're so used to someone it's hard to stop talking and seeing them cold turkey, but you can do it.

Breaking up with someone over the phone is acceptable, especially if your in a long distance relationship. I don't typically recommend the phone break up but if there is no other way then go for it.

Goodluck folks

xoxo Rockie

The BIG MOVE

Moving in together? Deciding to move in with your significant other, especially before marriage is a HUGE step. It can either make or break a relationship. One doesn't know every single little thing about a person until they live with them. I found some really cool tips on the Cosmopolitan website that might be helpful!

Here they are! *Cohabitation Examination: 7 Sticky Moving-In-Together Issues, Solved
Follow the link to each tip!

1.The Problem: Feeling Claustrophobic

2. The Problem: “What’s Next?"

3. The Problem: "What About My Life?"

4. The Problem: New Roommate Syndrome

5. The Problem: Differing Taste in Decor

6. The Problem: The Furniture Fight

7. The Problem: Balancing Budgets

Hope these tips were helpful!

Happy cohabiting folks

xoxo Rockie

Dating on a Budget

Spring is here, which means warm weather is vastly approaching! Warm weather is a great time for budget dating! Why? Well that's simple! Picnics, ice cream,  and walks in the park. What do they all have in common? I'll tell you, they're all under 50 dollars or FREE!

The HighLine

The HighLine In NYC is beautiful! spend a couple of hours here with some ice cream and great conversation. It's the perfect date. Come here on a warm afternoon or a cool evening. You'll both love it.








Seven Dollar Tuesday at Edgewater Multiplex! Every Tuesday (all day), all movies are seven dollars. Now in an age where movie tickets are about 13 plus, that's a great deal!

The Bronx Zoo has free admission every Wednesday so if you want to see LIONS AND TIGERS AND BEARS, oh my! then the Bronx Zoo is the place for you. Plus nothing sounds better than FREE

Central Park, with its roller skate and bike rentals, it is another wonderful wallet-forgiving date spot. Or grab a basket make some sandwiches, a blanket and voila! You're picnic's ready. Central Park is perfect for that. 

Happy dating folks

xoxo Rockie

Cool Date Night Spots

Living in the tri-state area gives you a large playground for dating. There are countless cool, trendy and romantic date night spots you and your significant other can visit! I will give you guys my top three best places for a date night.



Cafe Archetypus or The Cave, is the ultimate place for romance. It is the MOST romantic restaurant to take your significant other in New Jersey. When you walk into The Cave, it's like stepping into another world. It really sets the tone with its dimmed lighting, slow music and countless candles. When you come here always ask to sit in the back, where the personal cave booths are. It's also BRING YOUR OWN BOTTLE, so come with your favorite bottle of wine. (264 River Rd  Edgewater, NJ 07020)

Spin is the coolest interactive night spot in NYC. It's a ping pong club on steroids. If you and your significant other want to have a blast in a glass then you must check out SPIN. The food is really great too! (48 EAST 23RD STREET NEW YORK, NY  10010 )

Comedy Cellar is the coolest comedy club in NYC and usually has guest appearances from big names like Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle. It's a small place but a guaranteed great time.
(117 MacDougal St  New York, NY 10012)

These are just few of the countless cool date night spots to visit! Hope this helps.

xoxo Rockie

How To Lose A Girl in 10 days

So I was watching the movie, How to use a guy in 10 days and got to thinking. Now in the first ten days of meeting someone you can usually tell whether you want to possibly pursue something with them or not. Some people can detect this way sooner then ten days. So in this movie the main character tries to do everything that women do WRONG while dating a man for ten days. I started asking my friends what is it that a man can do to make a woman lose interest in a man and came up with a list of a few things.

1. excessive calling and texting
2. poor conversation
3. eagerness for intimacy
4. lack of proper etiquette 
5. talking about an ex
6. boasting about yourself

Communication is very important in the getting to know someone stage in a relationship, but excessive calling and texting will make a woman think you're a creep, stalker and weirdo.

Great conversation is key! Sitting on the phone saying um and OK over and over again because you can't think of anything interesting to say will have a girl thinking OK NEXT!

Eagerness for intimacy- Men who constantly bring up sex in the first few dates is a major turn-off and inappropriate. It'll make a girl think that that's the only thing on your agenda.

Lack of proper etiquette- PUT THE PHONE AWAY! while on a date you should not have your phone out at all, this is extremely rude. Also when out on a nice dinner please tip the waiter and waitress accordingly. I once had a friend who went on a date and the guy tipped the waiter TWO DOLLARS. Of course she never saw him again nor did she return any of his calls after that.

Talking about an ex- Please do not talk about an ex-girlfriend especially if not asked. If you were asked please keep it brief. No one really likes to hear about exes and it'll make a girl feel like you're not over them.

Boasting about yourself-  No one likes a bragger! Yuck! Talking about yourself and the things you have is a major turn off.

Please leave a comment if you would like to add to the list of things guys shouldn't do. 

xoxo Rockie