Como Que? Casual Dating!

Monogamy, monogamy wherefore art thou? Remember when you were a kid and you liked a girl/boy in school? You'd send them a note that said: Be mine? Yes, no, maybe, circle one. A relationship is the YES and casual dating is the Maybe. Today, there are countless forms of relationships. Casual dating has become the norm in today’s society simply because we all think we have too many options to just go for one. Or maybe our lives are to demanding to devote time to a committed relationship. 

A casual sexual relationship, or casual dating, is a physical and emotional relationship between two people who may have a sexual relationship or a near-sexual relationship without necessarily demanding or expecting the extra commitments of a more formal romantic relationship.

A casual relationship may be part-time, or for a limited time. It may or may not entail partner-exclusivity. In each case, the relationship's dominance in the lives of those involved is being voluntarily limited, and there is usually a sense that the relationship is intended to endure only so long as both parties wish it to.

I’m to busy: The busy card, which is school, work, and life! Some have children, multiple jobs and or are fulltime students and have little time to devote to a committed relationship, which is a job all in its own. A relationship is like a plant it needs watering in order to grow, neglect will cause that plant to die. This is why many choose to take the easy route and decide to casually date. 

A sticky situation: And I don’t mean the good kind! AaaahhhRight. The nice part of a casual a relationship is that in most cases its 20 steps up form a booty call. Nice dates can be involved, gifts, good morning text etc. You know, that whole shabang! Buuut (there’s always a but) please don’t be confused. Your cuddle buddy might have another cuddle buddy or several. Some get in too deep into this casual thing. If exclusivity was never discussed or even brought up then 8 times out of 10 you’re not the only one bedding your guy/gal. If you decided not to date anyone else that’s your personal decision and don’t expect the other party involved to return the favor. Unless you’re a robot you may develop some genuine feelings while in this type of relationship. Should this happen you can do two things. A.) Express your feelings or B.) Run for the hills for fear of rejection. Running for the hills sounds about right! No, seriously if you feel comfortable enough to discuss your feelings with that person then I’d say do just that. If you don’t, then there’s your answer right there!

Casual relationships only work if both parties are on the same page.

You have to have the same needs and wants and have similar life’s styles.

A casual relationship can stay that way or in some cases turn serious and eventually lead to a real commitment, yay. Just don't bank on that. If you find your self questioning your feelings or their feelings and feel as though you need clarity and certainty and the other party doesn’t wish to provide this then a casual relationship is not for you. Get out before your feelings get hurt.   

Happy dating!

xoxo Rockie

This Single Girls Life.

After being in a few long term relationships, I'm single for the first time in about ten years! Tired of always being someones girlfriend I decided I wanted to be a lone ranger. Unbelievable right? NO! Many find it hard to believe that I actually want to be single and in no rush to meet prince charming. I'm not opposed to it, just not actively looking. I'm only sharing this story because I want people to know that being single is OK and you shouldn't feel lonely or merisble because you don't have a significant other. If I had a penny for every time someone said I should be married or asked why am I single I'd be rich by now. I'm 25, which is typically in this day and age the time people start getting married, having children or in a committed relationship. (usually) One line I hear all the time is, you're too pretty, how are you single? Well, I didn't know that "pretty" people weren't allowed to be single? Is there something I'm missing? I've noticed that men who are single are rarely or never asked why? I'm assuming that it's illegal to be single when you're a young attractive woman. This is how society makes it out to be. But, I've never been the type to conform to society's expectations of how people should be. I go to the movies alone, I eat dinner alone and if I get an urge to cuddle, well that's what my body pillow is for. I surround myself with tons of wonderful friends and family members so I've yet to feel even an ounce of loneliness. My close friends tease me because when I get asked out I always tell the guy (if I agree to go) that this is not a date, it's a friend outing. Everyone always thinks this is hilarious but really, I say this because I don't want to lead anyone on. So I go on these friends outings under certain conditions.

Here are my friend outing conditions:

1.) There will be no kissing

2.) We are just friends

3.) We will remain Platonic

Now, I'm not trying to start some kind of singles revolution just saying I see so many women and men looking for love in all the wrong places. Sometimes it's OK to have time for yourself, learn to love yourself because at the end of the day if you don't love you then who else will? We have to learn to be one with our selves know our likes and dislikes and then the perfect person will be just around the corner. Please don't rush into a relationship for the fear of people alone. This is the time in my life where I'm doing everything I want to do and it's amazing. This is probably the only time in my young life that I will be able to do this. In a couple years I might be married with children but for now its just single me. For all my single folks out there, there are tons of fun things you can do with friends or even by yourself. Being single doesn't mean staying home alone and lonely. This is a time where you should be out and about meeting new people doing new things and stepping out of the box. Try not to stick to things you usually do and look for new and exciting adventures. Do things you can look back too and smile about. They don't shoot single people (well at least I don't think so). Wear your single cape proudly and when you're ready, really ready then put your self back on the market. I strongly feel that having me time is important, so have it!

I just wanna read books about juicing, watch movies and have drinks in the city with friends!

Your favorite single blogger,

xoxo Rockie

Breaking Up the Right Way!

We can all agree that breaking up with your significant other is one of the hardest things to do. How do you tell someone you've spent so much time with and given so much love to you don't want them anymore? Lets start off with things you don't say and do when trying to break up.
       

1. Email
2. Social Media
3. Text message

After being with someone for an extened period of time, the respectful way to tell them it's over, is face to face! Letting your significant other know you two are breaking up through social media, text message, email, is heartless! Today everything is done online but a break up shouldn't be one of them especially if this is a person you once cared for.

Try to avoid the IT'S NOT YOU IT'S ME line! It's so cliche! What you want to do is think of the top five reasons why you want to end things. Meet in a neutral place that's not too public; one or both of you might shed a tear or two and you don't want onlookers invading such and intimate moment. Be kind and remember they will want an explanation so give it to them. You don't ever want to leave someone clueless as to why you're breaking up with them because then they're left with no sense of closure. I know how hard It can be to say the words once you're face to face but if it's what you really want you have to be strong. Once you've broken up with your significant other you should CEASE AND DESIST all communication with them. I'm not saying you can't ever be friends with them, but right after a break up you both need space from each other to avoid confusion. Once you're so used to someone it's hard to stop talking and seeing them cold turkey, but you can do it.

Breaking up with someone over the phone is acceptable, especially if your in a long distance relationship. I don't typically recommend the phone break up but if there is no other way then go for it.

Goodluck folks

xoxo Rockie

Are You Dating or Just Friends PLUS+?

Having any kind of a relationship with a member of the opposite sex can be tricky! You two are either platonic or something more, and then there is often times that one person in this relationship that may feel something the other person doesn't. So when dealing with trying to define what you have, you must ask yourself; ARE WE DATING? ARE WE FRIENDS? ARE WE FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS? or ARE WE FRIENDS PLUS?



Dating- A form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. When you're dating someone you two usually go on intimate outings, and discuss what each of you are looking for in a partner. Usually there are a lot of conversations about relationships. Usually two people can date for two to three months before actually entering into a meaningful and long term relationship. This is only if you're interested in the other person. If you realize you have no interest in the other person then dating with him or her won't go further than one or two dates.

Friends- This is a platonic relationship. There is no dating, no touching of any sexual kind and no discussion about relationships. You two hang out alone or in groups with other friends. 

Friends with benefits- This is a strictly sexual relationship. Often two people agree to this type of arrangement for convenience. Usually going out on dates and discussing about feelings is not involved. If the only time you guys speak is to discuss a "meet up time/place" then you're involved in a friends with benefits type of relationship.

Friends Plus- This is a friendship that's stuck in limbo. Usually it feels like you two are dating but nothing ever happens. This is a friend you love or care about deeply which leads to feelings of confusion. You two, on paper are perfect for each other but no one ever makes the first move. A lot of hanging out is involved, some intimate interactions can be involved such as kissing, hugging holding hands. No sex is involved.


Which situation-ship are you in? Happy dating folks!

xoxo Rockie