Como Que? Casual Dating!

Monogamy, monogamy wherefore art thou? Remember when you were a kid and you liked a girl/boy in school? You'd send them a note that said: Be mine? Yes, no, maybe, circle one. A relationship is the YES and casual dating is the Maybe. Today, there are countless forms of relationships. Casual dating has become the norm in today’s society simply because we all think we have too many options to just go for one. Or maybe our lives are to demanding to devote time to a committed relationship. 

A casual sexual relationship, or casual dating, is a physical and emotional relationship between two people who may have a sexual relationship or a near-sexual relationship without necessarily demanding or expecting the extra commitments of a more formal romantic relationship.

A casual relationship may be part-time, or for a limited time. It may or may not entail partner-exclusivity. In each case, the relationship's dominance in the lives of those involved is being voluntarily limited, and there is usually a sense that the relationship is intended to endure only so long as both parties wish it to.

I’m to busy: The busy card, which is school, work, and life! Some have children, multiple jobs and or are fulltime students and have little time to devote to a committed relationship, which is a job all in its own. A relationship is like a plant it needs watering in order to grow, neglect will cause that plant to die. This is why many choose to take the easy route and decide to casually date. 

A sticky situation: And I don’t mean the good kind! AaaahhhRight. The nice part of a casual a relationship is that in most cases its 20 steps up form a booty call. Nice dates can be involved, gifts, good morning text etc. You know, that whole shabang! Buuut (there’s always a but) please don’t be confused. Your cuddle buddy might have another cuddle buddy or several. Some get in too deep into this casual thing. If exclusivity was never discussed or even brought up then 8 times out of 10 you’re not the only one bedding your guy/gal. If you decided not to date anyone else that’s your personal decision and don’t expect the other party involved to return the favor. Unless you’re a robot you may develop some genuine feelings while in this type of relationship. Should this happen you can do two things. A.) Express your feelings or B.) Run for the hills for fear of rejection. Running for the hills sounds about right! No, seriously if you feel comfortable enough to discuss your feelings with that person then I’d say do just that. If you don’t, then there’s your answer right there!

Casual relationships only work if both parties are on the same page.

You have to have the same needs and wants and have similar life’s styles.

A casual relationship can stay that way or in some cases turn serious and eventually lead to a real commitment, yay. Just don't bank on that. If you find your self questioning your feelings or their feelings and feel as though you need clarity and certainty and the other party doesn’t wish to provide this then a casual relationship is not for you. Get out before your feelings get hurt.   

Happy dating!

xoxo Rockie

I Think I'm In Love With My Best Friend!

 A best friend is a person you share everything with and in most cases spend a lot of time with. Some find it difficult to have a platonic relationship with a member of the opposite sex but It's 100 percent possible! But what do you do when you think you're falling in love with your best friend? Do you ignore your feelings? Should you be open and honest with them and share how you feel? Are you sure it's really love that you're feeling? I know, I know what do you do ? that awkward moment when you've fallen in love with your best friend!

Are you sure you're in love? Often when we are going through some kind of emotional or physical hardship our friends are the ones right there holding our hands through difficult times. If you're going through a trying time in your life and your friend is really helping you through, it could make you feel like you might have romantic feelings towards them. In times of need people tend to get very attached to the people closest to them (a best friend). These feelings that you might be experiencing towards your best friends might not be love. You can have love for them but probably aren't in love.

Recent break ups, being on the rebound, death in the family, depression,  and stress are some examples of vulnerable times where your emotions can get all mixed up.

It's Real! You know in your heart that you're truly in love with your best friend! Can't eat, can't sleep, you're head over heels! You've made a sane mind body and spirit decision that yes, These are my emotions and no, I'm not confused sigh. Now that you've come to terms it's time to decide what to do next.

Do You Tell them? You must understand that once you tell your best friend you have strong romantic feelings for them the entire dynamic of the relationship will change. Is sharing this news worth your current friendship as it is now? Are you OK with the possible rejection? Can you continue being this persons friend with out telling them how you really feel? If you can't go another day without admitting you're feelings for your friend then you should get it off your chest. If you've decided to take the plunge and be honest then you must do it the right way. If they are in a relationship you must think twice about sharing such news. Your approach has to be strategic as well. Don't give them the "we have to talk speech" and certainly don't use the love word.While you guys are hanging out, as you usually do sit them down and tell them you have feelings for them. 

What Next? Now your best friend knows that you have romantic feelings towards them. Ideally falling in love with your best friends is the most amazing thing ever right? It could be. If they feel the same way about you then the both of you can work on being a couple. If they don't share your feelings then two things will have to happen. 

1. It never happened! You both can try to pretend the conversation never happened and go on like every things normal and you can try to forget or avoid your feelings. This solution is very unlikely so lets go to number two.
2.  Space, You'll need some space. Seeing your best friend or listening to their guy/girl drama will be horrible for you and the friendship might feel weird for them as well. You two need to try to give each other tons of space until the air clears. You need time to try to get over your feelings and seeing them all the time won't help in the least bit.
3. Possible Solutions,  Go on a few dates and meet some new friends. It's a sad reality but things might not ever be the same between the two of you.

In conclusion, professing your love to your best friend can either go amazingly right or terribly wrong. It's up to you if you're willing to take that risk. Just remember going through life with what ifs isn't quite living. So hold your nose and take a dive! GOOD LUCK!

xoxo Rockie